When Life Gives You Lemons
by Jewelieishness
Summary: ...You make lemonade, but can the aliens make something sweet out of this painfully sour new girl? PaixOC
1. Pai's Sexual Harrassment

**Author's Notes: And I started another story - one, for the prospect of torturing my fans who want updates to Into the Light and A New Generation, and two, for the pure fun of writing an OC. I ran it through the Litmus test and we shouldn't worry about her being a Mary Sue...Alright, here we go!**

**Disclaimer: Tokyo Mew Mew is not my creation. My OC, though, is. **

**---**

**When Life Gives You Lemons...**

**---**

"I am not at all pleased with the results of these past few weeks."

Kish, Pai, and Tart frowned at the blue light. "But Deep Blue-sama, Tokyo Mew-" Kish attempted to interject, only to be interrupted by his master.

"I know. I am sending one more alien to help you all. I'm not repeating mistakes, so she will be a female." A distinctive hiss was heard from Tart; he did not want to work with a girl.

"Of course, Deep Blue-sama," Pai agreed solemnly. "As you wish."

"Good. I will see you again next week, same day, same time. Do be sure to bring your new..." Deep Blue thought for a second. "...accomplice."

"Yes," all three uttered simultaneously.

---

"So you're the guys Deep Blue wants me to work with?" The voice was dry and slightly sarcastic.

The trio turned in apprehension, eager to see their new teammate. And, well - their new accomplice, as Deep Blue had put it, wasn't your everyday sight.

Dark, unruly goldenrod locks tumbled in curls around her elfin ears, stopping just a centimeter or two below her chin. Her eyes were the nearly transparent yellow-white of lemon pulp; an unusual eye color, even for their species. A pale yellow halter top closed around her neck prettily with two strings of bright gold lace running down the sides. Her skirt was simple - a slightly puffy saffron garment, nothing special; her hands were only adorned with several aurous bracelets, and knee-length yellow boots completed the look. Her eyes were without feeling, though - Kish feared she'd be as bad as Pai.

"Um, yeah, he's Kish, that one's Pai, and I'm Tart," the youngest alien supplied.

"I will not tell you my name; we're not on a friendly, happy-happy first name basis. If you ever figure it out, kudos to you. Leave me alone unless we're attacking that group of girls and you need help, or Deep Blue needs me. Frankly, I don't _care_ if your eyeball falls out and the other two aren't around; not my problem." She narrowed her eyes daringly before turning on her heel. "Now then, show me to my bedroom and we'll all be fine, won't we?"

Kish cringed; she was _worse_ than Pai. She didn't even inform them of her name.

"O-Of course," Pai stuttered, slightly appalled at her behavior. "Right this way, Miss." He led her off into one of the many corridors of the spaceship.

"Well, _damn_," Tart scoffed as soon as their new teammate was out of hearing range. "She's _nice_. Is my voice dripping sarcasm right now, Kish? Because it _shouldn't_ be."

Kish frowned. "She'd be almost cute if she weren't so - I can't even think up a mother effin' word."

---

"Get the fuck out of my room." She commanded.

"Um...pardon me?"

The new girl crossed her arms. "They're dumb on top of it all. Look, you've led me here, I don't need you anymore, now get the bloody fuck out of my room 'fore I call Deep Blue and tell him someone's been sexually harrassing me - "

"I am NOT sexually harrassing you." Pai was blunt and quick with his response.

Smirking, she answered smoothly, "I'm quite the actress, you know." While she feigned a scared look, Pai had to admit she _was_ quite the actress and he'd be in a shitload of trouble if she decided to feed Deep Blue lies.

"Then I'll be leaving." He turned, rather annoyed already at her. And to think, this was only Day One...

---

**Well, what do you think so far? R&R!**


	2. Lemon's Fight

**Author's Notes: Hm...fight scene. Major swear word warning in this chapter. Lemon isn't exactly the nicest female alien you'll ever see..**

**Disclaimer: OCs are all mine. MINE. Tokyo Mew Mew, however, isn't.**

**---**

**When Life Gives You Lemons - Chapter Two**

**---**

Pai frowned. "She needs a name, we can't just say 'Hey, you,' everytime we need her."

"I say 'stuck-up bitch'." Kish declared.

"Oh yeah, that works. Why don't you go try it out on her right now? Deep Blue obviously picked her for a reason, so she'll demonstrate her awesome martial arts skills. You get use of your nickname, we get to see what she can do. Win-win situation," Tart sneered.

Kish visibly blanched. "Forget it."

"Why don't we ask her nicely?" Pai proposed. "I mean, it might not work, but it's worth a shot, right?"

"Yeah, you do it," the younger aliens chorused.

Kish turned to Tart. "Jinx, you owe me a soda."

"I don't even believe in that crap." Tart grumbled.

"Well, I don't either, but it's a nice way to get free sodas."

"Will you two shut up? We are trying to get a name out of her." the violet alien snapped.

"Lemon. My name is Lemon. If you have to make such a racket over a fricken' name, I swear to God, I'm going to castrate all three of y'all, tape you to the walls, and melt them in front of your faces." the female interrupted rather rudely. Apparently she'd just woken from a nap, and was pissed.

"Ah, Lemon. Okay. Are you even Christian? Because if you aren't, then-" Kish's rants ceased as soon as Lemon glowered at him.

Tart turned to Pai. "What does 'castrate' mean?"

Pai paled. "I don't think you want to hear it."

---

"Miss Lemon?"

Lemon glared at the door of her bedroom. "What do you want?"

"Um, we're going to attack the Mews now. Their work shift is done, so we're going to pay them a little visit - "

A malicious grin played around Lemon's thin lips and a yellow gun formed in her right hand. "Oh, no you're not...I think I'll beat on the little bitches...solo, got it? Tell your little friends to stay here and out of my way."

The alien outside the door was obviously peeved, but regardless, he answered calmly. "Of course, as you wish."

"Nice." Lemon snapped two fingers and teleported away, the evil grin never leaving her face. She hadn't had a good fight in forever.

---

"Remon za-men shu-to!" _BANG!_

The explosive lemon seeds blew down the door of Cafe Mew Mew. Mint jumped, Ichigo and Retasu screamed, and Zakuro simply stopped what she was doing and put on an irked expression. Purin was in the kitchen with Keiichirou.

"Kish, you'll pay for this!" Ichigo hollered.

"Kish? The annoying green one?" Ichigo was surprised as a feminine, smooth voice wafted out from the front yard of Cafe Mew Mew. "Oh, he's not attacking you, girls, Lemon's in the house." The new alien flew in, armed with her seed shooter and complete with a evil smirk.

Zakuro raised an eyebrow. "You're new."

Lemon waved the gun around aimlessly. "Yes, I am. Kish, Tart, and Pai apparently couldn't handle you four, so Deep Blue sent me in."

"There are five of us, na no da!" Purin rolled in on her red and white striped ball.

"Five? More bitches to massacre, I s'pose."

"Massacre? I think not. Mew Mew Mint, Metamorpho-sis!"

"Mew Mew Strawberry, Metamorpho-sis!"

"Mew Mew Lettuce, Metamorpho-sis!"

"Mew Mew Pudding, Metamorpho-sis!"

"Mew Mew Zakuro, Metamorpho-sis!"

Lemon watched in some amusement as the five girls transformed. "Pretty. But it's about the brains and brawn, not the beauty. And you look like stupid little muscle-less girls." She inspected her yellow seed shooter. "Go on, then, show me first impressions are always wrong."

Mint was _really _pissed off by now. Who did this girl think she was, anyway? "Mint Arrow!"

She pulled back the string, aiming. "Ribbon...MINT ECHO!"

The adversary simply moved out of the way. The arrow hit the wall, directly next to her. "Nice. A bird and her little pussy arrow. Let's show you what I can do. REMON ZA-MEN SHU-TO!!"

Mew Mint was knocked backwards and scathed by the dangerous explosives. "Oh..." She groaned, picking herself up off the ground.

"Lettuce Tanets!" Lemon turned, one eyebrow arched. The expression on her face was mirthful.

"Ribbon...Lettuce Rush!"

The snarky alien was quickly drenched. But then, she started to laugh. "Water?! Is that all you have, water? What's the most harm water can do? Drown someone? My race can breathe underwater! You're even more worthless than the bird bitch!"

Mew Lettuce's confidence quickly diminished and she started to back away, on the verge of tears.

"Retasu, what she's saying isn't true," Mew Ichigo insisted. Lettuce buried her face in her hands and started to cry, ignoring Ichigo's pleas and comforting words.

"RIBBON ZAKURO SPEAR!"

Lemon was knocked out of the air with the force of the attack. "What the Hell...?"

"Don't you _dare_ speak to Mint and Retasu that way," Zakuro snarled, cracking the crosswhip on the ground threateningly.

Licking her fangs, Lemon propped herself up on her elbows. "Finally, someone who can actually give me a good fight. What are you, anyway, a dog?"

"Gray wolf. That, however, is none of your concern. Ribbon Zakuro Spear!" Lemon attempted to dodge, but her left boot was ensnared in the whip. She tugged at her foot in vain; the weapon's grip was far too strong.

"Holy shit, you're good. But of course, I'm better. Remon za-men shu-to!" Zakuro let go of the whip and leaped high into the air, dodging the seven seeds that came her way. Without Mew Zakuro there to control the weapon, Lemon easily freed her ankle. But then, Zakuro held out her arm and the crosswhip sailed fluidly into her hands.

"I really don't think you're better," Zakuro replied mock-sweetly. "Ribbon Zakuro Spear!"

"Ribbon Pudding Ring Inferno!"

"Ribbon Strawberry Surprise!"

The three attacks combined hit the yellow alien with notable force. "Dammit...I'll be back, you asswipes, and I'll kick your asses next time, too!" With a flash, she teleported back to the ship.

"...It's Mew Mews, not asswipes." Ichigo declared to nobody in particular.

"GODDAMMIT, WHAT HAPPENED TO MY STORE??!!" Ryou hollered, apparently back from shopping.

---

"Grah, if it weren't for the purple Mew, I would have won!" Lemon screamed, throwing her arms up angrily.

"Mew Zakuro is considerably strong. She only falls second to the leader, Ichigo, but since Ichigo is constantly daydreaming about that Earth boy... Zakuro has no love interest, so she can focus better." Pai explained.

"It doesn't matter, I shouldn't have lost to her." Lemon crossed her arms indignantly.

Kish teleported into the room. "Congratulations, Lemon! I was there, watching, but I didn't do anything because you might have gotten mad; that was an amazing first fight! No wonder Deep Blue picked you! By the way, that insult you threw at Lettuce was priceless! And then I almost cracked up when you asked Zakuro if her DNA animal was a dog! I fell down laughing when you called them asswipes - "

"Would you stopping kissing my ass for five seconds?" she snapped. "Regardless of how excellent I was, I still lost! And to a bitch that's two years younger than me!"

He blinked. "You're eighteen? You look younger than that."

Pai tilted his head. "Kish, could you relay the fight to me? It sounds very interesting..."

"Oh, yeah, of course. See, Lemon makes this huge, dramatic entrance by blowing up the door of Cafe Mew Mew - "

"No way!" Tart gasped, back from whatever he'd been doing.

"Yeah, she just blows it up! And then Koneko-chan thought it was me - "

"Koneko-chan? She's a cat?" Lemon wrinkled her nose. "I've seen things in the alley that look tougher than her!"

Kish continued retelling the story, Lemon making comments and corrections the whole way through. Basically, the group of four had a good laugh - Lemon had swore the girls out more than once, after all.

---

"Shirogane-san, I'm tired!" wailed Ichigo.

"You should've thought about the consequences before you had a fight in my Cafe!" The blonde answered from wherever he was at.

"But it's Lemon's fault!"

"Are you kidding? Look what she did to Mint! I'm not gonna risk my life and ask her to clean up the mess she made!"

"Scaredy-cat!"

"...That was a _really_ bad pun, Ichigo."


	3. Lime's Entrance

**Author's Notes: You think Lemon's a bitch? You haven't seen nothing yet. Enter Lime!**

**Disclaimer: Tokyo Mew Mew belongs to Ikumi Mia. And I wish I could find the manga for it at my local Borders, but they just don't supply TMM...**

**---**

**When Life Gives You Lemons - Chapter Three**

**---**

"So Lemon, you've come closer to beating the Mews than any of your accomplices?" Tart scowled and looked away.

"Yes, Deep Blue-sama," the female alien replied curtly.

"But you still lost?"

"...Yes, Deep Blue-sama."

"Huh." The light was silent for a few seconds. "Lemon, you told me you have a younger sister?" Kish and Tart expressed surprise. Pai remained stoic.

"Lime."

"What about limes?"

"Her name is Lime," Lemon informed.

The light seemed to shift a little. "Lemon and Lime...I should've expected something like that. How is her fighting?"

"...She is considerably good. She doesn't fight much, but she has very good aim and has thwarted me once or twice. With weapons, of course."

"I see. I will send her...you did seem upset about me taking you away from your family, and Lime will be of use..."

Lemon's expression only darkened. "If I must work with her, I suppose I will."

"Goodbye then."

"Until our next meeting, Deep Blue-sama," the four aliens answered.

The light faded away to reveal the green dimension in which they resided.

Kish turned to Lemon. "You have a sister? Why didn't you tell us?"

"I only tell you what you need to know and nothing more," Lemon stated dryly. "Random trivia facts are of no use to you, are they?"

Tart bit his lip. "Deep Blue-sama said he took you away from your family...why weren't you happy when he said he was bringing in Lime?"

Lemon stared at a stone pillar as if it were very interesting. "Lime is...Lime and I are not on good terms...at all. Or, really, she seems to think we're fine, but we're really not. She doesn't get the fact that I don't like her in the least." She turned to the oldest alien, who was typing away at his computer. "And Pai, I'd hide if I were you. Lime has a bit of a...purple fetish." She smirked at the thought of her over-obsessive sister hanging onto Pai's leg and screaming out her undying love for him.

"Right...I'll have to remember that," Pai said slowly, wondering if it was really worth it to dye his hair another color and change his wardrobe altogether. Lime might look like a shorter, greener version of Lemon, after all...and he didn't want anyone that even _resembled_ Lemon to stalk him.

"Oh, and Kish, I overheard what you said about me being a bitch..." Kish's eyes widened in the fear that Lemon really would castrate him. "And if you think I'm bad, just wait until imoto-chan gets here," Lemon continued, honestly rethinking her opinions on Lime. After all, it was too much fun to torture these guys...and the purple fetish just made it even more fun. Tart winced, wondering if suicide was a nice option.

"You know what? I can't wait for Lime to get here!" Lemon exclaimed, clapping her hands together and skipping off to her room. She was absolutely elated.

---

"Hello everybody!" An annoyingly high-pitched voice sang out.

Tart turned, seeing as he was the only one in the room at that moment. "Um...you're Lime? You look nothing like Lemon..."

Indeed, she didn't. Her hair was far longer, and her outfit and features were all a vibrant green. A violent contrast to Lemon's pale yellows...

"Duh, silly, I'm totally way more gorgeous than most of the girls left on our planet, and especially onee-chan," Lime answered, rolling her dark eyes. She flicked one annoying lock of bright hair behind her large elfin ears.

"And I see now why Lemon said she hates you," Tart muttered. She was full of herself.

"What was that? Wait, it doesn't matter, um, could you, like, show me to my room? Pretty please?" Lime bent down to Tart and fluttered her long eyelashes, beaming.

"Whatever. Go into that hallway and you're in the room two doors down to the left," the brunette alien waved one hand dismissively, accidentally hitting one of the long ribbons she'd used to decorate her arms. "Now go away, the other three are off trying to find some Mew Aqua. I still dunno why they left me here..."

"Like, what the Hell is Mew Aqua?" Lime asked, blinking slowly. "Could you educate me on that? Please with lots of purple whipped cream on top?"

"Why purple?"

Lime giggled. "I'm attracted to anything that's purple. Onee-chan told me it's called a fetish."

"Okay, then you'll be very happy when Pai comes back," Tart stifled a giggle with his left hand. Pai must've done something to anger the Heavens.

"Pai? Cute name." Lime licked her lips seductively. "Mmm, I can't wait, in that case."

"Right. Now can you please go away, I'm busy. I don't think you want me to educate you on Mew Aqua anyway, it'll provide a subject for you and Pai to talk about," Tart offered helpfully.

"Oh, I don't think we'll be talking tonight," Lime purred, picking up her forgotten suitcase. "I do believe we'll be participating in more."

Tart curled up his thin lips and laughed. "Yeah, whatever. They should be back in a few minutes anyway."

---

Lemon watched with slight interest as the Mews performed a combined attack on Kish.

"Do you think we can perform combined attacks?" Pai asked, snapping her out of her reverie.

Lemon shrugged. "If they can, who says we can't? Deep Blue supplied us with these, so they have to have some sort of demented effect."

"I think so too. But even if we can't, there's always logic. Let me show you...attack, please?"

"Um, okay...Lemon Za-men SHOOT!"

"Fuu Rai Sen!" The winds from Pai's attack swept up the explosive seeds and sailed them towards Mew Ichigo, whose back was turned. Immediately, her tail was burned and scorched, and she dropped her bell in the midst of a Strawberry Surprise. At the bell's new angle, the attack fired at Mew Pudding instead of Kish. The monkey-infused girl was quickly detransformed and sent to the ground.

"Thanks!" the alien flew up to dodge one of Lettuce's attacks, and then dived back down, swords in hand.

"Nice logic," Lemon nodded with approval. Pai almost smiled. That was the first nice thing she'd probably said.

He slashed at Lettuce, but she moved at the last second and he only gave her a cut. As a Mew, her injuries healed quickly, and within seconds, her arm was once again flawless.

"Dammit, it looks like we have to somehow get them to attack each other," Kish told Pai telepathically, watching as the wounds he gave Mew Zakuro faded.

"Lemon, get Mint to attack," Pai whispered, brandishing his fan. They weren't friendly enough yet to open a telepathy line.

The yellow alien's thin lips curled up. "What kind of a name is Mint?"

That was enough for the bird Mew. "RIBBON MINT ECHO!"

"Fuu Rai Sen!" Pai shouted, redirecting the arrow towards Lettuce, who promptly detransformed and passed out.

"Ribbon Strawberry Check!" Ichigo called out. Pai couldn't redirect this one, so he simply flew over to Mint and threw her into the line of fire. She also was knocked out.

"Three down, two to go," Lemon declared, narrowing her eyes at Mew Zakuro.

"Ichigo, do not attack," the wolf said calmly, crossing her arms. "Simply dodge and they'll eventually tire out."

"Right," Mew Ichigo replied as she jumped out of the way of Kish's swords.

Lemon teleported out of the area, suddenly remembering the Mew Aqua.

Kish and Pai were left with the two Mews, who were staring and waiting for them to attack.

"Well?" Ichigo asked expectantly, eyebrow arched in apprehension.

"Let's fight each other with combination attacks," Kish shrugged, at a loss for ideas.

"That's good," Zakuro agreed, surprising the amber-eyed alien. "The Strawberry Bell Version Up against whatever you have for us. Whoever wins goes for the Mew Aqua."

Pai turned to Kish, an evil smirk spreading slowly across his face. They didn't seem to notice Lemon's absence. Either that or they thought that Lemon had fled.

Kish returned the smirk, his thoughts running a little differently. His swords were already awesome, but they'd be really cool if they did stuff with lightning...oh yes, combination attacks were very, very good.

---

Lemon's fangs glittered as she grinned, taking the Mew Aqua from its pedestal. She teleported back to Pai's laboratory, where she carefully placed it into a beaker and corked it. With no idea of where to place it, she simply left it on his desk and teleported back to the fight scene.

---

"Dragon Lightning Swords!" Kish yelled, involuntarily throwing his arms up in the air. The yellow-silver weapons formed in his hands, handles decorated with the same design on Pai's fan.

"Strawberry Bell, Version Up!" Ichigo screamed in response. An electric purple blast of energy from the ZaCross Whip entered the bell. It began to glow.

"Hello everybody!" Lemon hollered, making her dramatic entrance. "I got the Mew Aqua, so the dumbass Mews can give up now!"

Ichigo blinked. "I thought she ran away."

"Me too..." Zakuro agreed, nodding slowly.

"Oh well. RIBBON STRAWBERRY...SURPRISE!"

There was the crackling of thunder, and then a burst of lightning as the two attacks began to collide. Ichigo and Kish held onto their weapons and supplied them with energy while Pai, Lemon, and Zakuro watched.

Silence as the energy wiped out everything within a five meter radius.

"Uh...let's go home now," Lemon finally said, wiping the soot off her skirt.

"Yeah...let's," Kish agreed. The three aliens teleported away and police sirens sounded.

Ichigo turned to Zakuro. "Oh crap," she said calmly.

---

**-Starts to dance.- Yay, Lime came in! She's the other OC I was rambling about. x3 She's going to complicate everything.**


End file.
